Location, Location, Loc…ok, you get the idea

I’ve frequented various dating sites over the years, and a question I often get asked by potential matches is some variation of ‘where’s the most interesting/strange/exciting place that you’ve had sex?’

I love having sex in public places, especially when there’s a genuine risk of getting caught, but still, I’ve never really had a stock answer to that: I’ve tended to adapt my response according to the situation and, more specifically, to the person asking the question. However, everyone knows that men love pointless lists, so in that spirit, here’s my top five ten interesting sexual locations:

1. De Bijenkorf changing-room, Amsterdam. Most people associate Amsterdam with sex, but they tend to focus on the red-light district and its myriad charms; less front-of-mind is the Netherlands’ premier department store, with its changing ‘pods’ in the middle of the shop floor, perfect for quick, quiet, knee-trembling sex in front of the mirror.

2. Spring Street subway stop, New York City. A late-night blow job on a railway platform constitutes a formative experience, it would seem, and is definitely enhanced by the knowledge that the next train could appear at any moment…

3. Backstage at the Burton Taylor theatre, Oxford. Previously unforeseen perks of dating the producer apparently included oral sex during Act One.

4. The Mull-Iona ferry, Scotland. The Highlands don’t attract many tourists in October. A mid-afternoon ferry from the small island of Mull to the tiny island of Iona attracts even fewer tourists. Going from re-enacting Titanic’s ‘king of the world’ moment to fucking from behind against the back railing of the boat was a happy consequence of those factors.

5. Oxford University Parks. Honourable mention here goes to two college libraries, but coitus al fresco is always both liberating and energising, and as a fairly inexperienced 22-year-old, rolling around in the bushes next to the main path through one of Oxford’s busiest attractions was the winner when it comes to sex on university property.

6. Various London boozers. Too many to name individually, but I still get a tingle of excitement whenever I revisit one of them and remember fucking in the toilets, or in a dark corner of the bar…

7. Highway 1, California. Hat-tip to all other ‘highways & byways’ encounters, but as glamorous as it was to give head in a layby off the A420, it’s hard to dispute the Pacific Coast Highway’s position at the top of this particular category.

8. Westfield shopping centre. More bathroom-based action. Made the rest of the shopping trip much more enjoyable and relaxed.

9. The Managing Director’s desk. Illicit encounters with a senior work colleague had both benefits and drawbacks – among the former was the opportunity to stay in the office after everyone else had left and bend her over her boss’s desk.

10. Royal Albert Hall. Fucking in the cinema? Not bad. Theatre? Pretty classy? Braced against a pillar in the standing gallery of the Albert Hall? A worthy way to round off the top 10…

What/where would be on your list?