Xmas Drinks!

When: Saturday 13th December, 7.30pm

Where: London

RSVP: dulce.et.decorum.estATgmailDOTcom, @EA_unadorned

—

I’ve done a decent job today of staying cheerful and positive, but during a rare melancholy moment this afternoon, I found myself thinking about the office Christmas Party that I’m now not going to attend. I alluded last night to the parallels between being dumped and being fired: both can break your heart in a million different ways, but among the most effective is the knowledge – the certainty – that you’re thinking of them much more than they’re thinking of you.

“I’ll miss you”, she says, as she wipes away a tear.

“The office won’t be the same without you”, they write, and you remember all the times you’ve written that to other people. All the times you told someone you’d miss them. All the times you truly meant it. All the times you were wrong.

Life moves on, and it moves on faster for those who walk away than it does for those who are left behind. In a couple of weeks from now, my former colleagues will eat turkey and drink champagne; they’ll pull crackers and swap Secret Santa gifts; they’ll put on paper hats and go dancing, while I sit at home and listen to the little voice in my head that says “they don’t miss you tonight”.

Well fuck that. There’s a lot in life that can’t be overcome with positive thinking alone, but as far as I’m concerned, this can. The logical part of my brain knows that it’s not personal – it’s just how the world works. We can’t take on everyone else’s pain, and actually I don’t want my old colleagues to think about me that night, or to miss me, or to feel sad about what happened. I want them to have fun and celebrate together, because life goes on.

—

And if I can’t go to the party, maybe I can bring the party to me…

(This may work brilliantly or it may be a total disaster, but either way, I’m going to roll with it for now.)

When I look back on the last 12 months, one of the things that stands out most is the unexpected sense of community and warmth I’ve found through this blog and my Twitter profile. A lot of that stems from Eroticon, and the people I met there, but even back in March I don’t think I could have imagined how important a part of my life it would become.

Things will change in 2015, I’m sure – they always do – and almost certainly in ways I can’t predict or anticipate right now. For now though, I’d like to celebrate 2014 by inviting anyone* who’s read my blog this year over to my place for Xmas drinks.

On Saturday 13th December, my flatmate is away and I have the apartment to myself. If you’d like to join me here, just get in touch by email or DM, and maybe explain who you are if you don’t think I’ll recognise you. Assuming my spidey senses don’t tingle in the wrong way, I’ll give you my address, along with the secret password and handshake.

Just to be clear, this will be a drinks party, not a rave/orgy/fancy dinner/etc. And like most things I do with this site, I’m sort of making it up as I go along, so I reserve the right to move it to a local bar, or scrap the whole idea entirely if too many/not enough people look like they’re going to rock up.

Either way, if you do fancy it, drop me a line and we’ll kind of go from there!

Exhibit A

*Well, obviously not anyone – I’m not stupid – but as long as you’re not underage, related to me, in prison, a member of the press, or intent on mischief, we’re probably cool.