The (classic*) WordPress dashboard is an oddly addictive thing, especially for a stats geek like me. It shows you how many people have looked at your blog, broken down by time period (day, week, month), location, and post/page. It also shows you where they’ve clicked through from, and where they head when they leave. It’s the sort of simple data over which it’s easy to obsess, especially after you’ve just posted something that you’re proud of or worried about.
The light relief** comes courtesy of one little box on the left-hand side, which tracks (some of***) the search terms people use to find your site. Over the last 12 months, I’ve found it to be a treasure trove of weird and wonderful insights into the sort of kinky shit that people scour the internet in search of. Sometimes, it’s easy to understand how a search term led someone to my blog: today, for example, I had a click-through courtesy of one person’s search for ‘slut exhibit’. On other occasions, I find myself scratching my head a bit. ‘”Make it to the toilet” fart’ was a particular low-point from earlier in the year, and more recently I also struggled to find the link between anything I’ve written and the admittedly arresting image of an ‘old man naked lying on beach beside us wanking big cock’.
Because I’ve extracted so much enjoyment from reading through my search terms this year, it only feels right to work them into a blog post somewhere, and earlier this evening an idea finally struck me. In the poll below, you’ll find 10 of my favourites from 2014. At some point between now and New Year’s Eve, I’ll write a piece of short/flash fiction, using as a title whichever one gets the most votes before Monday evening. That feels like it would be more of a challenge with some than with others, but nevertheless I’ll allow democracy to run its course and will tackle the winner, whichever it may be.
I’m in no hurry to run another competition any time soon, but if anyone else wants to join in, and to write something based on one of the search terms in the list, I’ll feature an extract from your story here, and will also pimp the hell out of it on Twitter. I’ll close the poll at 11pm GMT/6pm EDT on Monday 29th, so get voting!
*Fuck you, new dashboard – seriously, fuck you.
**Mixed with just a touch of apprehension…
***Only certain search engines share that data with WordPress.
10 replies on “Search Term story”
Holy hell, that is a very intriguing list. I might have to play along. Now, what to pick for you…
Brilliant idea! Yeah, the search terms can be… interesting. Also, I totally agree about the classic vs new dashboard.
And… that’s a tough choice! What is a “lust fish” anyway?
Ha! I love this!
[…] *This story was inspired by one of Exhibit A’s blog search terms. […]
[…] This was written after a vote to determine my best/worst/most ludicrous search term of 2014. By some distance, ‘lust fish’ was the […]
[…] and a reminder that back in December I promised to post excerpts from anyone else who took up the Search Term Story challenge. Having resolved to get better this year at highlighting the great work being done by other […]
The new dashboard SUCKS ASS! Love your blog. 🙂
[…] When Exhibit A wrote this post about the things that people had typed into a search engine to find his blog, he picked his 10 favourite and asked his readers to pick on which he would write a story about. Lust Fish was the winner and he did a brilliant job turning a bizarre prompt into a very hot story. I took the search term Busy Toilet Wank and turned that into a story. I wasn’t the only one to join in, Ella Dawson used the prompt (first)Fuck of the year and Jilly Boyd used her own search terms to create her story The Catalyst. […]
[…] coming up for six months since I wrote this post, sharing some of the weird and wonderful search terms that bring people to my blog. I also asked […]