Q & Exhibit A (4)

Click here for the first part of this latest Q&A, and here to read the 2014 version.

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Tell us about a fantasy that you’ve not yet lived out…

Oh boy…there are, like, 73 different ways to go with this one! My last 299 posts cover so many of my unfulfilled fantasies – some thinly disguised as fiction, others just laid right out there – that it would be very easy just to do a cut-and-paste job with something I’ve written about before. Or that someone else has written about, for that matter.

Looking back, a common theme running through many of those fantasies is that whole idea of being watched, or being on display somehow. The name ‘Exhibit A’ didn’t come about by accident (though I might rethink it if I was starting out today), and I find few things hotter than the feeling of someone else’s eyes on my body, whether I’m just standing there naked or am a more active participant in whatever’s going on.

That dynamic features heavily in two fantasies I could have written about here, if I hadn’t just ticked off one of them this past weekend (fucking at a sex party while other people watch), and didn’t have the other lined up for early next month (life modelling at a hen do). Both scenarios really turn me on, in isolation and with various details layered on top of them, so I have no doubt I’ll write more about each of them over the next few weeks.

Instead I’m going to go in a slightly different direction. It’s no secret that I find MMF threesomes insanely hot – nor that I like the idea of M/M stuff more generally – but what I’ve never really talked about (at least here) is MFF play. For a long time, that was a simple product of the fact that I never really thought about a threesome with two women either; in my head, if there was someone else joining me and my partner it was always another guy, and the couples for whom I guest-starred were exclusively male-female.

Lately though, that’s started to change. That’s perhaps interesting only to me – ‘dude decides he’s into the idea of sex with two women’ isn’t exactly headline news – but what it’s done is open up a whole new set of fantasies to explore, both in my head and maybe at some point with other people.

In this particular version, the two women know each other very well. They’re friends – good friends – and they share me in the same way they might share a plate of snacks and a bottle of wine on a girly night in. They chat and laugh as they take it in turns to suck my cock or sit on top of me, and they compare notes as they go. There’s a level of comfort between them that makes it very much a three-way experience, even if they don’t do anything sexual with/to one another.

I know one of them, but maybe not the other – at least not well. There’s a very relaxed vibe to the whole thing though, and I know from the start that I’m really just their evening entertainment. Their plaything. Perhaps one of them isn’t very experienced, and the other is egging her on a bit, telling her that now’s her chance to try new things. She’s a bit nervous at first – shyness she covers with dirty jokes and a bit too much booze – but curiosity soon takes over, and by the end she’s begging me to fuck her harder while her friend dishes out high-fives and offers a running commentary on my performance.

Alternatively they might both be really experienced – not just in bed generally, but at picking up guys and sharing them. They have high standards, and only men who can satisfy both of them are invited back in future. As I go down on one of them, the other gives me tips on how she likes it, and how to make her come. They set me challenges – “get yourself close, really close, then stay on that edge for five minutes while we tease you” – or compete with each other to see which one can make me moan the loudest.

Finer details aside, the key to the whole fantasy is the dynamic between the two women, and what it means for everything they do with me. It’s not awkward or self-conscious. It’s not goal-orientated and no-one is showing off or trying to prove something. It’s just a relaxed play session where two friends want to have fun messing around with a naked guy, and when they’re done with that we’ll probably just all chill out together with a pizza or something.

Mm, pizza.

You have a good mix of fiction, non-fiction, photos, politics, reviews and how-tos in your blog. are you hoping to focus on any of them more specifically in the next 300 posts?

I’m tempted to say that if I’m still blogging in three years from now (roughly the length of time it’ll take to get to 600 posts), one of you should take me out and shoot me! I imagine this particular site/format will have gone well beyond its shelf life by then – though to be honest I can’t say I ever envisaged sitting down to write a 300^th post, so never say never…

If I am still writing as Exhibit A, I’d like to think I’ll have found a way to make my content a bit more focused and a lot less jumbled. I doubt that will involve sticking to just one of the areas you mentioned, but at the moment I’m not sure even I could give you the elevator pitch for my blog, and I feel like it’s probably a bit of a nightmare for (especially new) readers to navigate.

I think I’ll always write fiction – sometimes on a regular basis, sometimes more sporadically – though whether I continue to combine it with all the other stuff is less certain. I will also keep writing about the things that interest me, so those op-ed essays and how-to guides are unlikely to disappear any time soon.

The one that I can’t really forecast right now is the non-fiction – the personal and the autobiographical. I only have so many interesting stories about my past, and I’ve never been all that comfortable blogging about events and relationships that are going on in the present. That may change, of course, but either way, how much I share of my own life will be influenced to a huge extent by the direction it takes over the coming months and years. Watch this space, I guess!

The other day when I was running I saw my super-cute gingerbeard mail carrier. He definitely saw me. I was wondering if it would have been better for me to change my route to circle back so he could see my ass? Or to have been home and stretching in lycra in my yard when he came round to deliver the mail?

See, that entirely depends on whether you just want him to enjoy the view or whether you want to get your flirt on as well. Giving him a nice long look at your arse as you bounce past kinda lays the groundwork for future encounters; he’s left with that one powerful mental image, and maybe without even realising he’ll keep coming back to it as he finishes his mail round – or it’ll suddenly pop into his head again later that day when he’s back home, taking a shower. It means he’ll be looking out for you the next morning, and maybe even trying to align his arrival with what he imagines your running schedule to be.

On the other hand, if you’re waiting in your yard, that gives you the chance to take the mail from him in person, which in turn brings him right into the centre of your Circle of Flirt. You’re there bouncing from toe-to-toe while his eyes dart all over the place, desperately trying to settle on something other than your pert, lycra-clad body, and never quite succeeding. It gives you a level of control over proceedings, and a chance to decide whether he’s anything more than just a cute ginger beard before deciding on your next move.

What are your thoughts on cheating?

Again, infidelity is something I’ve written about more than once over the last couple of years. I’ve made no secret of the fact that my own track record in that department isn’t great, but I’ve also tried to explain why I no longer see it as something that should just be condemned out of hand – not in every instance, anyway. I’ve even used it as a central plot point in at least two different pieces of fiction, which I know makes some people uncomfortable, but also reflects my view that if cheating wasn’t hot at least some of the time, far fewer of us would do it.

However, none of that means I think it’s good, or nice, or right to cheat on your partner. The sex aside, it almost always involves deception, dishonesty, and betrayal of trust, all of which have the potential to do a huge amount of damage. By choosing to take that risk, you’re showing a certain disregard for the happiness and emotional health of the person you’re cheating on, and there are few occasions on which that can be easily justified.

Of course sexual and emotional infidelity aren’t the only actions to fall into that category. We give them a special status because they tend to involve sex, but I don’t view them as intrinsically worse or more hurtful than the numerous other ways we can betray our partners’ trust or consciously inflict pain. Human beings do shitty things to each other, and human beings in relationships are not immune to that. Being cheated on sucks – I know, I’ve been there – and depending on the scale, nature, frequency and circumstances, it’s something most of us find very, very hard to forgive. But not always impossible.