On Facesitting

One fundamental truth about the language of sex is that some words and expressions are immediately, viscerally hot, while others are really, really not. Tell me to touch your cunt, for example, and a knot of desire somewhere in the pit of my stomach will twist just a little bit tighter at the sound of that hard ‘c’ and the tight, spitting ‘t’ that follows. Say it to the next guy whose hand is between your legs and it may have no effect whatsoever. It may even turn him off.

I’ve written before about one of the phrases that does it for me, and actually I only need to think about those four words again now – and about some of the scenarios connected to them – to feel myself starting to get hard here at my desk. The one I have in mind this morning has been going round my head for the last few days, ever since a Whatsapp chat with another blogger. We’d both read this really terrible post [EDIT: subsequently deleted], and after I’d joked that I might write a response with the title ‘5 reasons why feminists are better in bed’ we started brainstorming ideas:

‘Feminists will sit on your face with wild abandon.’ They will sit on your face.

Sit.

On.

Your.

Face.

My blogger friend didn’t use the word itself, but facesitting is a kink of mine in the same way that oxygen is a gas I occasionally like to breathe. Frankly it’s a good job we weren’t having the conversation in person, because as soon as she said those words I’d have had to excuse myself for a few minutes – that or immediately pull a cushion over my bulging crotch.

Women who tell me that they want to sit on my face – better yet, that they’re going to sit on my face – can do pretty much anything they like to me after that point, because I’m already sold. I’m eating out of their…well, not their hands, I guess. In that sense it’s a gateway to all sorts of other wonderful things, but first and foremost, in and of itself, it is just fucking hot.

Why though? How does facesitting differ from ‘regular’ cunnilingus? And what makes it such an instant turn-on? Given the conversation that inspired this post, there’s really only one way to answer those questions…

5 Reasons Why Facesitting Is The Best

1. Confidence & enthusiasm. Let’s be clear about this, confidence and enthusiasm in tandem represent the gold standard when it comes to sexual prowess. As a straight guy, there is nothing – nothing – hotter than a woman who knows exactly what she wants in bed and is vocal about how much she wants it. When you grab my head and push it between your legs, it’s like you’re saying “fuck yes, I love the way you eat me out and I really want an orgasm, so get down there and do it right now” – sitting on my face is a turbo-charged extension of that. It’s the act of someone so horny and so comfortable in her own skin that nothing matters to her beyond grinding one out all over my mouth and chin.
2. There’s a reason why facesitting is a service offered by pro dommes – it’s pretty full-on. Yes, I can support your weight with my hands (unless they’re tied to the bedposts or cuffed above my head, which is also just…unf…), but even then I’m going to be breathing, smelling, tasting and experiencing your cunt in all its glory. Gravity alone means I can feel everything – there’s literally no getting away from it. My lips, tongue, nose and chin are all just full of you. I’m a big fan of intense sexual experiences, and this is one of the best examples of that. It’s almost overwhelming.
3. The view. Looking up at you like that is incredible. I can’t stress that enough, actually – it’s one of the best things about any position that involves my partner being on top. Fat, thin; tall, short; apple-shaped, pear-shaped, whatever; when my entire field of vision is full of the person I’m fucking, it makes me want to punch the air with joy (or hug myself in silent glee). Chuck in the look on your face when my tongue is buried in your cunt or dragging up over your clit, and I’m basically in heaven.
4. Your orgasm(s). Again, everything is magnified by the grind of your hips down onto me, and the weight of your body pinning mine to the bed. When I eat someone out I want to feel afterwards like I’ve just stuck my head out of the car window in a thunderstorm, so if you come like that – hard, urgent and gushing, your cunt grinding down onto my face, slipping all over it – I can’t be held responsible for my own twitching, groaning response. If you’re lucky enough to be a woman who squirts, that’s just an extra, ridiculously hot bonus, especially if you kiss me hard afterwards before sliding down onto my cock…
5. The tease. Speaking of cock, my face isn’t the only thing you have total control over when you ride me. With my hands under your arse or jammed down at my side, and my body stretched out behind you, my dick is frustratingly out of reach – to me, at least. When I get hard (and with your glorious cunt rubbing all over my face, you’d better believe that’s going to happen), I can’t do anything except feel it throb against the cool air, desperate to be touched. Maybe every now and then you’ll reach back and drag a fingernail up along the shaft, or curl your hand around the head and give it a quick squeeze. Maybe you won’t do anything except talk dirty – tell me how good it feels to have my tongue inside you, but oh, you can see how thick and hard it’s getting my cock…surely that must be torture, wanting so badly to have it stroked or sucked or…mm, and is that pre-cum on the tip already…

There’s obviously no shortage of amazing things two (or more) people can do in bed together, but in the pantheon reserved for the hottest-of-the-hot – for those ohmyfuckinggod moments and memories that make you tingle when you think about them weeks, months or years later – facesitting will always be worthy of its spot. That’s why the word itself has such power, and why, when it’s turned into a statement of intent (“I’m going to sit on your face next week/tonight/right now”), all I’m really hoping at that point is that you’re going to do it with wild abandon…