Last month I published two very enthusiastic reviews of the Satisfyer Pro G-Spot Rabbit, written by winners of my April sex toy fiesta. Today it’s the turn of the Satisfyer Pro Traveler to step into the spotlight. I gave away four of these little pocket vibes in April, though at the time of writing I’ve only received three of the reviews – maybe the fourth person passed out from too many orgasms and hasn’t come round yet, who knows.
As with the Rabbit, all the vibes were won and tested by people who’ve never written about sex toys before. In fact, none of the three here are sex bloggers, which is one of the things that makes these perspectives so fresh and interesting; each one approached this with an open, curious mind, and I think their reviews reflect that.
So did the Traveler rock their worlds? Would they recommend it to anyone else in the market for a mid-priced clitoral vibe? Read on to find out…
#1
I bought my very first vibrator back in 2013, during my final year at university. My housemates and I decided it was time to stop fucking around with boys and instead put our education first by, um… sorting ourselves out… Fast forward to 2018 and I knew it was about time to replace and retire my tired-looking neon pink rabbit vibrator, ideally with a pocket-sized clitoral vibe.
Enter stage right, the Satisfyer Pro Traveler. Concealed in its case, this sex toy is so discreet looking, I could seriously charge it up whilst writing this review in the busy coffee shop I’m currently sat in (I’m not going to do that but please know that I probably could if I wanted to). I like this vibrator because I think it’s very versatile. It’s perfect for those times when I’m really stressed out and need a quick self-care wank to help me feel better. I’d heard Satisfyer’s clitoral toys weren’t ideal for partnered sex, since it’s difficult to keep the nozzle positioned properly. I didn’t find that to be an issue and incorporating it into sex really elevated things for me.
Since it’s so good at doing what it needs to do, I find I have to pull it off the second it tips me over the edge. But one funny thing I noticed about this vibe which alarmed me at first was the weird noises it would make when I moved it away. It sounds a bit like one of the creatures from the Netflix series, Stranger Things.
#2
My new best friend.
Usually, when I get a new toy it takes a few times of using a vibrator or bullet to see which settings work for me and although figuring that out can still be pleasurable, it often doesn’t lead to orgasms straight away.
Not with the Satisfyer Traveller, though.
On our first day we played together four times. And every time I had proper biting-the-pillow-so-damn-intense orgasms. And I didn’t get past level 5 (of which there are 11) that day. I can honestly say I’ve never used a toy so often so quickly. That good.
The Satisfyer works by kind of sucking on your clit and it really does feel like someone going down on you but at the same time it is quite a unique sensation. The great thing is, once you’ve turned it on and it’s working away at your clit, you don’t have to keep holding it so your hands are free to wander elsewhere. Think being able to finger yourself, have the feeling of someone licking your clit and having a hand free to caress your breasts. Definitely the way to multiple orgasms. Or, if you’re feeling lazy, just lie back and let the Satisfyer do all the work for you.
It’s pretty quiet, although it can get a little bit louder the further up levels of intensity you go but if anyone’s home, I’ve easily muffled it a bit by putting on music or using it under the covers. Unless you’ve got paper thin walls, you’ll be fine. I also really like how easy it is to recharge it with the USB cable and the cover makes it very inconspicuous.
Overall, it gets 5 stars from me and heaps more moans.
#3
I’m a sex toy novice. The only one I’ve ever even seen up close is the pink Rampant Rabbit I bought from Ann Summers, in a moment of extreme embarrassment and bravery about 10 years ago. And since then I’d say I’ve used it on no more than two dozen occasions, with limited results. None of my sexual partners has ever produced one, or introduced the idea of using sex toys as part of our bedroom activities, and even though I’ve spent great swathes of my life single, solo sex has never really been my thing.
For me, sex is much more about the human connection, the intimacy, the intertwining of two bodies with lust and desire. The mechanical functionality of simply getting off, on my own, as a means to an end… frankly I find It lonely and depressing, a stark reminder of the fact that I am indeed alone, and have no one to share the joy of coupled-up pleasure with.
But maybe, I thought, I’ve been doing it wrong. Maybe it’s not me; maybe it’s the instrument I’ve been using. Maybe I just need more practice, and the right equipment. I’d thought about buying something new, but the choice is overwhelming, and as a sex toy novice, where do you even start? So when offered the chance to test out something entirely different, for free… well, I thought, why the hell not? What did I have to lose? At worst, I’d be back where I started. At best, I might have some sort of sexual epiphany, a much-needed and long-overdue awakening, if you will. Was I finally about to find out what all the fuss is really about?
The toy in question is the Satisfyer Pro Traveler – a very small, discreet, entirely non-sex-toy-like sex toy that is, according the instructions, ‘the ideal travel companion [that] fits perfectly into any handbag’. Having barely used toys at all, I’ve certainly never felt the need to carry one in my handbag, but if I ever change my mind I’d say this is just the thing. It’s about the size and weight of one of those power banks you carry for charging your phone, and could almost be one: square, and soft black with a chrome trim. Take off the cap and you reveal the business end, which is nothing more than a white nozzle about the diameter of a penny. To my untrained eye it doesn’t look like a sex toy at all, so if it fell out of your bag at an unfortunate moment, or you accidentally left it on the bedside table, you’d totally get away with it.
But you don’t care what it looks like, do you? What you want to know is… did I have my epiphany? So let me tell you what it was like.
It’s pretty simple to use: just two buttons, which you hold down for on-off, or press quickly to change the intensity. You hold the nozzle over your clit, it works by firing pulses of compressed air at you, so you get a sort of vibrating sensation which is supposed to be gentler and more stimulating than the hard physical contact of a traditional dildo. And that’s it. You turn it on, and let it do all the work – which is rather an odd experience for someone who prefers her sex to be rather more, well, interactive.
And if I’m honest, I didn’t really get what all the fuss was about. I struggled at the start to find the right intensity – the lowest was just a fraction too low, and the one up from that was a bit too much (like Spinal Tap, it goes up to 11, but the person who can handle that much stimulation is clearly made of sterner stuff than me!). With 1 being too gentle (I’d have been there all night), I put it on 2 and then tried to aim it off a bit so that it wasn’t quite so violent; getting the right positioning was a little tricky, but I got there in the end. And then I just let it do its thing – which obviously it did, but if I was expecting some kind of miraculous awakening, some kind of shout-it-from-the-rooftops Hallelujah moment, then I was sorely disappointed. The orgasm I had was basically exactly the same (rather underwhelming) format and intensity as the kind I get with the Rabbit, or with my fingers, and left me feeling, as usual, just a bit deflated. And so, portable and discreet as the Traveler is, I think I’ll be sticking with the even more discreet and portable stimulating tools that I have attached to my right hand.
But don’t let me put you off. Lots of people go crazy for sex toys, so maybe I’m just doing it wrong. I was hoping I’d finally find out what all the fuss is about, but sadly the search for an epiphany will have to continue. But you might entirely disagree. If you find out the secret, perhaps you’ll be so good as to let me know.