So apparently it’s #AnalAugust! There seems something a little masochistic (sadistic?) about devoting a whole month to the celebration of anal sex at what is generally the hottest, sweatiest time of the year (in the Northern Hemisphere, anyway), but maybe that’s the point. Anal is meant to be sweaty. It’s meant to be filthy and dirty and take-your-breath-away intense – to leave you rolling away afterwards into sheets soaked from the exertion of two bodies locked together in something unavoidably primal.
On Thursday, I read this article by Kinkly, which offered a pretty useful guide to some of the best positions for penetrative anal sex. Unfortunately, despite taking care to use non-gendered language in the text, and to make no assumptions about either combinations of people or their respective roles, the article was illustrated with six images of masc. people penetrating femme ones. To their credit, Kinkly acknowledged that they could’ve done better with this, and I imagine at some point the pictures will get changed, but it got me reflecting on all the things I enjoy about receiving anal.
And yeah. It turned out that there were quite a lot. Perhaps unsurprisingly.
In the end, I decided to narrow the list down to five and write about them here. I have posted pieces about pegging before, as well as a few stories that focus on men getting fucked by women or other men (I’ve also shared a video on Twitter that I think makes my feelings on the matter very clear), but consider this my definitive statement on why I love it so much. If you also enjoy taking it in the ass, feel free to share your own favourite things about anal in the comments below!
- The feeling of fullness. This is an obvious place to start, but it’s also such a good one. Very little beats the giddy, smug, slightly trembly realisation that after the inevitable moment of panic when you think you might have to stop, it’s suddenly all the way inside you. For me, the exhilaration and weird sense of achievement are almost directly proportional to the size of whatever I’m being fucked with. I love hearing someone whisper “fuck, you’ve taken it all”, as if they can’t quite believe what they’re seeing, and I love the almost physical shock of feeling my body adjust to having something deep inside it like that. More than anything, I think I get off on the way the first couple of inches can feel like a real struggle – especially if you’re dealing with a really girthy head – only for the rest then to slide in so easily once that initial resistance gives way. Often I don’t even really need the other person to thrust after that – if I can squeeze and grind onto them, that’s enough to make me feel like I’m about to dissolve from the inside out, just from the depth and force of what they’re doing to me.
- The preparation and initial entry. I have enough experience with putting things in my own butt that having someone else fuck me there is no longer intimidating. Nevertheless, anal sex isn’t something you can just jump straight into, and I really love the way different people build up to it with me, in a range of different situations. When it’s planned, and you have a range of toys available to you, that often involves a slow and structured warm-up – a progression from fingers, to a small butt plug, to something a bit larger…all with the judicious (and liberal!) application of lube at each stage. I’ve also been in situations where pegging has happened much more spontaneously, and we’ve had to find more creative ways of getting started. One time, for example, my partner just knelt between my legs and jerked my cock, edging me closer and closer while telling me to fuck myself with my lubed-up fingers; by the time she slipped a harness round her waist and pushed her cock into my mouth, I was so ready to be fucked that I nearly came on the first stroke. Whichever way you do things, the anticipation of being filled is almost as good as the reality – almost.
- The loss of cock control. There’s no delicate way to put this: having my ass fucked makes my cock absolutely gush. I’ll never forget the first time someone really found the right spot with a strap-on, and I basically came within seconds – except I didn’t just come, I collapsed into the sort of full-body orgasm that leaves you incapable of speech for some time afterwards. More to the point, wild horses couldn’t have stopped me losing control like that. Even as I felt it approaching, I said no, I asked her to stop, I tried to hold it back, and it was already too late for any of those things to be remotely effective. I know the science behind it, of course, and it’s true that if the angle isn’t quite right or if I’m not comfortable with how I’m being fucked, it doesn’t always work…but when someone builds up a rhythm and knows which buttons to press, the results are truly spectacular. Having an orgasm literally forced from my body pushes a lot of my buttons, and is also invariably very messy – in a good way.
- The vulnerability. All sex involves trust, but with anal there’s often an even higher emphasis on the safety and comfort of the person being penetrated. It’s not enough to be well-meaning and enthusiastic – you can do a lot of damage to your partner if you’re not conscious of the physical and anatomical considerations that are unique to ass-fucking. As a het, cis man, the vast majority of the penetrative sex I have involves being the ‘giver’. When I switch roles with a partner and ask them to fuck me, it feels like an act of vulnerability simply by virtue of how uncommon and different it is. I’m trusting them not just to make me feel good, but to look after me and keep me safe too, which can be a very strange feeling for someone more accustomed to taking the lead. However, that’s also why it’s so wonderful and so worthwhile.
- Watching someone delight in taking control. I’ve only ever been fucked in the ass by people with vulvas, and the first time often follows the same pattern – especially when it’s also their first time using a strap-on. The unfamiliarity of it – of feeling a ‘cock’ swing between their legs, of wrapping a hand round the base or shaft – is usually hard to ignore, and in almost every case has been greeted with a certain amount of joyful experimentation and exploration. Even better than that though is the moment when they really grab a situation by the scruff of its neck and take charge of things. I like being ordered around anyway, but there’s something about the horny drop in the pitch of someone’s voice when they’re really getting off on telling me what to do or how to fucking take their fucking cock. That’s only magnified by exertion, so the whole thing just builds and builds as the scene plays out, until we’re both sweaty and breathless, and I’m relaxed enough for her to really fuck me hard. Or really to do anything she likes.