Traditions

I have a new phone! My old one died a sudden, though not unexpected death early on Tuesday morning, so yesterday afternoon I went into my local Vodafone store to pick up a shiny, intimidatingly-large Samsung S9+.

It’s my third Samsung handset, though my first since the mid-2000s, when I traded in one of the old flip phones for a Blackberry – in hindsight, a move that sort of sealed my transition from stubbornly mobile-resistant grad student to digitally-aspirational white collar worker.

Back then, mobile cameras weren’t much to write home about, but I put them to good use anyway. I was in a long-distance relationship for much of that period, and on both my sleek silver flip phone and my chunky new Blackberry, I would snap all manner of filthy photos to send to my transatlantic love.

It was actually such an exciting and interesting time! None of us quite knew what we were doing with this snazzy new technology, but we were damn well going to find out, even if that inevitably led to missteps along the way. Sexting, picture-swapping, online erotica and porn, all available at the touch of a button – it was a brave and thrilling new world, and I wanted to be a part of it. God I wanted that!

I remember very clearly the first forums I stumbled into. The first blogs I read and the first time I started to upload material of my own. The first nude selfies I took and sent. With no social media to help build networks, the whole thing felt a bit Wild West; you kind of bluffed your way through it, and hoped that in the end you’d find your tribe.

I didn’t manage that back then, but by the time I switched from my final (touchscreen!) Blackberry to the HTC M8 in September 2014, I was a year into my new sex blogger life as Exhibit A and newly returned to the UK after 10 months in Poland. And I took a lot of photos.

Not least because my new phone felt like it had come from another planet. For one thing, it was basically all screen. And so smooth! For the first couple of days, it kept slipping out of my hand, such was the evolutionary shift from the reassuring, rectangular solidity of the Blackberry design. Best of all, the camera was amazing. I still have photos from back then, and of course a fair few have featured on this blog over the years. Here are a couple I snapped during that first week of frantic fiddling with all the new features:

Look at that blur! So professional…

Clearly I also went outside and took photos of, y’know, regular stuff, but I would be lying if I said that was my main reason for loving my new camera. From shooting orgasm videos through to capturing every vein, groove and tuft of hair in previously unimaginable detail, the technology upgrade allowed me to branch out into new and very enjoyable areas of erotic photography.

In September 2016, the HTC 10 sharpened things up even more, though it wasn’t a game-changer to quite the same degree as its predecessor. By then, of course, I was about to move in with Liv, and we were only four months away from getting engaged, so it’s fair to say it’s been used as much for photos of cats, wine bottles, and wedding/honeymoon stuff over the last two years as it has for filth. How things change, eh…

And there are more changes to come! I don’t know how long I’ll have this phone, but by the time I trade it in for the Samsung S11 (or whatever), I imagine my Google Drive will be full of Baby EA/TOL – or even Toddler EA/TOL at that point, perhaps! So many of us these days live our lives through the lens of a digital camera, and certainly the paradigm shift in mine over the last few years has been documented that way.

But regardless of what else I use it for, I have no intention of stepping away from dick pics, nude selfies, and elaborate group shots any time soon. They’re simply too much fun. So I was really happy the other day when I asked Twitter for ‘first photo’ suggestions with my new phone, and someone simply replied “butts”. I tweeted that pic yesterday afternoon, and once I’d done so, I decided to play around with the camera some more.

I really like it when someone cups and closes their whole hand around my cock and balls, just for the pleasure of being able to hold them, so I was casually doing that to myself as I scrolled through the various settings. I felt relaxed, comfortable, and just horny enough to wonder whether I ought to move any photo session into the bedroom.

Instead I propped up my phone on the arm of the sofa, switched on the timer, and stood in front of it. Et voila, my first new camera dick pic! Not the most noble of traditions, nor one I can share with my Facebook friends or family WhatsApp group – but I can share it here. Long may it continue!