Exhibit A

I’ve been sleeping naked for over 22 years. I know it’s been that long because until the age of 14, I wore pyjamas – and never once considered that there might be an alternative. It was only in the summer of 1995, when I belatedly discovered masturbation – and by extension, my own body – that going to bed at night without exchanging one set of clothes for another began to seem not just appealing but essential.

It’s no coincidence that the two developments occurred in parallel. I sleep naked these days out of habit and because, ultimately, it’s more comfortable, but there’s always been a sexual aspect to it as well, which I guess is why I’m writing about it here. Right from the start, on those sticky, sweaty, school holiday nights, I’d lie face-down and grind my cock against the cool bedsheet, seeking relief from both the nocturnal heat and my own raging hormones. Or I’d grip the duvet between my thighs and squeeze tight, till I could feel myself throb with a desire that I was still only just beginning to understand.

After I published this post on Wednesday, explaining (in some detail) exactly how to suck my cock, I tweeted a fairly straightforward challenge (well, request) to my vulva-owning readers:

Would LOVE to read a version of this from a vulva owner’s perspective. ‘A guide to eating me out’ – anyone fancy writing it?

— Exhibit A (@EA_unadorned) August 30, 2017

It took less than 24 hours for the first essay to hit my inbox, and another two swiftly followed. I decided to save them up and read all three in one session…which turned out to be an excellent idea, because it really brought home (in a wonderful way!) just how different they are. How different we are.

For every woman who likes firm, constant clitoral pressure, there’s another who doesn’t want you to go near her clit at all. For every woman who gets off on rhythmic G-spot stimulation as she’s being licked, you’ll find one who prefers to have your fingers teasing the entrance to her vagina – or buried deep in her arse.