Exhibit A

I want to taste you.

I want to lift you onto my kitchen table, hike your skirt up around your waist, and push your thighs apart with my hands. I want to hold them like that, fingers gripping you firmly, and press my face against the patch of damp lace between your legs.

I want to feel the soft, slick skin through your knickers; to rub my nose and mouth all over it, till you’re so wet that your juices squeeze out the sides and cover my chin.

“I’d be so happy if I could have a cock for a day. Just one day, that would be fine.”

“What would you do with it?”

“Well I’d definitely fuck your arse. And make you suck it. Oh, and have a wank. I’d want to put it everywhere. It would look like yours, but maybe a bit…”

“…a bit what?”

“Um, a bit bigger? I fucking love your cock. It’s almost perfect. But you know I’m greedy…another inch or two would just be even better…”

I’ve been meaning to join in with Kat and Kilted Wookie’s ‘Food 4 Thought Friday’ meme for a while now, and when I saw last week’s prompt* I decided that this was a good time to dip my toe in the water:

‘If you have sex with men, how much does penis size matter?

If you are a straight guy, how do you feel about the size of your package? Has it ever been an issue for you?’

At this point in my life, I don’t have sex with men. However, I do enjoy looking at other guys, I get off to porn where guys fuck each other, and obviously I have a penis of my own, so the question is relevant on various levels.

Click here and here for the first two parts of this, and here to read the 2014 version.

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You seem very body-positive, but you must have a physical ‘type’? Imagine one day we all get sex robots – what would yours look like?

Asking me that is a bit like asking “what would you have as your last meal on Earth?” – my answer will change on pretty much a daily basis, and will only really reflect whatever I’m craving at the time. This afternoon I might be in the mood for Peking Duck and a Kate Winslet sexbot, but by tomorrow morning there’s every chance I’ll want Eggs Benedict and Natalie Portman. Or a really good pizza and my English teacher who I really fancied when I was 17.

Of all the questions I got sent for my 300th blog post Q&A, one immediately stood out as the thing I was simultaneously most and least looking forward to answering:

Which movie character would you most want to sleep with, and/or is there a particularly hot scene from a movie that you wish you could participate in?

Come on now! So many hot, sexy characters. So many hot, sexy scenes. How on Earth could I be expected to pick just one??

Here’s the thing though. It’s my blog – I don’t have to pick just one! I can shamelessly cheat and rattle off as many as I like. With that in mind, I eventually settled on three combinations of character + scene that do it for me – any more would turn this into a stand-alone blog post [EDIT: this turned into a stand-alone blog post…] – so with apologies to Heath & Jake in the mountain tent, James McAvoy & Keira Knightley in the library, and Scarlett Johansson in pretty much anything, here’s my final list:

Click here for the first part of this latest Q&A, and here to read the 2014 version.

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Tell us about a fantasy that you’ve not yet lived out…

Oh boy…there are, like, 73 different ways to go with this one! My last 299 posts cover so many of my unfulfilled fantasies – some thinly disguised as fiction, others just laid right out there – that it would be very easy just to do a cut-and-paste job with something I’ve written about before. Or that someone else has written about, for that matter.

Looking back, a common theme running through many of those fantasies is that whole idea of being watched, or being on display somehow. The name ‘Exhibit A’ didn’t come about by accident (though I might rethink it if I was starting out today), and I find few things hotter than the feeling of someone else’s eyes on my body, whether I’m just standing there naked or am a more active participant in whatever’s going on.

As promised(/threatened) last week, I’m celebrating my 300th blog post in the same way I did my 100th in 2014: with a big, self-indulgent Q&A, using all the questions people have sent me over the last few days (21 at the last count). Once again, I’m going to answer them in batches, which will mean adding stuff on to the bottom of this post and – when it all gets too unwieldy – spilling over into another one, so do keep checking back if you’re at all interested in what I have to say.

If you have (further) questions to add to the list, pop them in the comments section below or hit me up via email or DM!

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As a poly person do you experience jealousy?

Ok, right in at the deep end. I’ve been asked variations on this question several times over the last few months, and have read with interest as other bloggers have shared their thoughts on it. I realise that jealousy is something a lot of people struggle with – in both monogamous and polyamorous relationships – and it’s natural to assume that it would be one of the biggest barriers to making poly work in the long term.