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Elust #57

Elust #57 Cammies on the Floor Image
Photo courtesy of Cammies on the Floor

Welcome to Elust #57

The only place where the smartest and hottest sex bloggers are featured under one roof every month. Whether you’re looking for sex journalism, erotic writing, relationship advice or kinky discussions it’ll be here at Elust. Want to be included in Elust #58? Start with the rules, come back May 1st to submit something and subscribe to the RSS feed for updates!

~ This Month’s Top Three Posts ~

I’ve Got 99 Problems

Vasectomy Blues

I’ve always wanted to call myself queer.

 

~ Featured Post (Molly’s Picks) ~

Aoyama Yuki and My Very First Times

I don’t know how to be happy

 

~ Readers Choice from Sexbytes ~

*You really should consider adding your popular posts here too*

All blogs that have a submission in this edition must re-post this digest from tip-to-toe on their blogs within 7 days. Re-posting the photo is optional and the use of the “read more…” tag is allowable after this point. Thank you, and enjoy!

Categories
Sex

On my sexuality: part 3

I wrote the first two parts of this a couple of months ago. You can find them here and here. If you haven’t read them, I suggest checking them out before going any further.

Going right back to the original set of questions, the hardest to answer is the one concerning all the things I’d like to do with other guys. In large part, that’s because it carries with it the thrill of the unknown: on the one hand, there are so many possibilities, scenarios, and even small-but-oh-so-sexy variations on scenarios that I barely know where to start; on the other, almost all of them are accompanied by the caveat that I only think I’d enjoy them. Yes, it’s a lot of fun to lie in bed with my cock in my hand and a butt plug filling my arse, fantasising about being tied up on my knees and forced to suck half-a-dozen cocks one after the other, but without any real reference point to draw on, I have no idea how I’d feel about that if someone did want to try it.

Ah, and that’s fairly crucial: the ‘someone’. It’s also where this issue ties in with my wider sexuality, and in particular with my feelings on power, control, and submission. All of my hottest guy-related fantasies unfold either through the eyes of a female partner, or at her instruction/command. I’ve written four pieces of erotica that focus on M/M sex (Brother Simeon, Ruled, Your Turn and Room 317): two of them feature a female protagonist, and three were largely shaped by conversations I had before I wrote them with women I was seeing at the time. I wanted to know what they found sexy about the idea of guys doing stuff together, and when they told me, I built that into the action; I’ve always been turned-on by the idea (and the reality) of being watched and directed, so tapping into that kink produced super-charged versions of the M/M fantasies that already existed in my head.

For that reason, any honest account of the things I’d genuinely like to do with other guys in the future probably has to include the assumption of some sort of female involvement. If I’m alone in my flat on a Thursday night and feeling horny, I’m unlikely to head down to the local gay bar in search of someone to suck off; nor is there much chance of me turning to Grindr rather than OkCupid if I decide to look for a new partner online. However, chuck in a dominant – or just incredibly kinky – woman who I’m eager to please, and things might be a little different:

“I want you to do something for me – think you’ve got the balls to try it?”

“Yes…yes, please tell me and I’ll do it”

“Good boy. I want you to go down to The Castle Tavern – no, don’t pretend you don’t know where that is, you little slut – I want you to go down there and find a guy to take you out into the alley, push you to your knees, and fill your mouth with his cock. Get him to take a photo of you sucking him, so I can see you gagging on his big dick.”

Then…well, I certainly wouldn’t rule it out, put it that way.

Girl on the Net wrote a fantastic piece last week about great sex being more than just the sum total of a bunch of basic physical sensations. It needs context – not love, necessarily, I’m not saying that – but something tied up in the person or people you’re with, to lift it above your morning wank, and make it worth all the time, effort and emotional baggage. M/M sex for me is about that woman too, whoever she might be, and about the dynamic between us.

With that presence of someone who I trust with both my physical and mental limits, and who cares (in a wider sense) about my pleasure as well as her own, there are lots of things I’d like to try. Some of them are obvious: I’ve written before about how much I enjoy receiving anal, and I’m pretty sure that even the best dildo, in the hands of the most skilful woman, can’t compare to the feeling of a real cock pushing inside my arse. Why wouldn’t I want to find that out for myself? Or to discover what it’s like to have someone come inside me. After all, I’ve been told by various women over the years how good it feels when my cock thickens inside them, right at the end, and leaves them with an arse full of cum – that’s got to be a pretty fucking universally awesome sensation, right?

Right. So there’s that. But there’s also the glorious prospect of the unknown. I’m on familiar terms with my own body at this point. I know what my dick looks like and how hard it gets. I know how I fuck. How my cum tastes. What noises I make. How much I sweat. The way my body responds to different forms of pressure or stimulation. I project all of that onto my mental picture of M/M sex and onto the M/M scenes I write, as well as borrowing liberally from the porn I’ve seen and the erotica I’ve read. However, as Cara Sutra pointed out when she debunked the various myths about lesbian sex, seeing isn’t doing. Fantasizing isn’t doing. Writing about a bunch of horny monks having a gang-bang certainly isn’t doing. Sex with another guy is something I have a set of ideas about, but there’s every chance the reality is different – and maybe, just maybe, better – than the hypothetical version I carry around with me. It’ll feel different, and taste different, and look different, and new stuff will happen. Stuff I’m not prepared for, or which pushes my boundaries in ways I hadn’t considered before. Stuff I’ll like. Stuff I won’t. Stuff I’ll have to go away and think about afterwards, because hey, I just don’t know how it makes me feel.

Yes, newness in sex is routinely overrated. Your first time might have been really good, but it probably wasn’t the best you’ve ever had. Same goes for the first night when you decided to tie someone up, or have sex on the beach, or try that new position you saw in Cosmo which, it turns out, requires an advanced degree in Engineering and a partner who medalled in Gymnastics at the London Olympics. Newness is exciting and fun, and gives you the same butterflies you had as a teenager when your high-school crush walked past you in the corridor, but in sexual terms it’s not what pays the bills.

I like the stuff that pays the bills. A lot. I love gentle missionary sex with someone I’ve known for years. I can think of few things better than waking up next to a woman I care about, yanking down her PJ bottoms, curling my body round hers, and having sleepy Sunday morning sex that lasts all of five minutes before we both doze off again. It makes me happy to know my own body inside-out, and even happier when I have a partner of whom I can say the same. All of those things are great. The best, in fact. And yet…

I don’t want to die wondering. When I was a horny 21-year-old virgin, I wanted to have sex not for the status it gives you, or the stigma it removes, but to know, to really know what it felt like. I’m as insatiably curious now as I was then, so when people say to me “hey, you fantasize about taking another man’s cock in your hand/mouth/arse, right…well what would you want to do if you actually had one in front of you?”, my answer is “EVERYTHING”.

It would require context, trust, and ideally the presence of a female partner who could push all the right buttons and really make me crave it, but ultimately what I want is to take all of the hot ideas in my head, chuck them into a soundproof room, strip naked, and dive right in. If you want to know what that looks like then please, come in and take a seat. Just shut the door behind you. This could take a while…

Categories
Erotica

Joanna

I’m in a relationship with my recruitment consultant. We’ve been together for over a month now, and so far everything’s going great. We email back and forth, speak almost every day, and each time she calls me my heart beats that little bit faster. In fact, just the sound of her cool, clipped, slightly detached voice is enough to make my cheeks flush and my cock stiffen.

Ok, it’s not what most people would consider a conventional relationship – for one thing, she doesn’t even know we’re an item – but the bond I have with Joanna is very intimate. She asks me about my hopes and dreams: where I see myself in five years, what I want to do with my life. We talk about the things I’m good at and the things I’d like to be good at. I open up to her about my weaknesses, and she comforts me whenever an interview goes badly. We share the same interests – running, wine, travel – and with her Polish parents my life in Warsaw is a good source of easy conversation.

Sometimes, just to change things up, I play hard to get. I let my mobile ring through to voicemail and then ignore her messages. I send gnomic replies to her follow-up emails. She’s a very demanding woman, so it’s exciting to push back against that. And while she’s never stern with me, if we haven’t spoken for a while there’s an edge to her inflection, and I can picture the furrow between her eyebrows as she frowns down the phone.

I can picture other things too. Filthy things. I stroke my cock and imagine her standing in front of me, fully-clothed, telling me what to do. She has an eye for detail, so her instructions would be precise and purposeful – her voice is low, and I don’t think it would waver, even when she moved closer and lifted her tight pencil skirt so I could please her with my tongue.

Or perhaps she spends so much time in control of things during the day that when she gets home all she wants is to be bent over the nearest hard surface and fucked till the last coherent thought tumbles out of her brain. I’ve thought about that – oh yes – and about the mornings too, when I’d interrupt her meticulous preparations for the day ahead to push my cock down her throat, or suck and squeeze her tits as she stands half-dressed in front of the mirror.

She’s good at eye contact, is Joanna – the one time we met in person, her gaze barely strayed from mine. I wondered afterwards what it would take to unsettle her. Would she still look me square in the eye if I fucked her arse just before she left for work, my cock smeared with her spit and lipstick? Would she button up the jacket she wears over her tight cream blouse, reapply her make-up, and give me a last, lingering look as she walked out of the door on trembling legs, ready for another day at the office? Would she bother to change her knickers if they were sticky with my cum?

I don’t think I’ll ever know the answers to those questions. We’ve had a very happy month together, but it’s nearly time for us to go our separate ways. Yesterday I had my final interview for the last of the three roles she’s been working on. We spoke afterwards, a warm, light-hearted chat as I walked to the tube station. At the end of it, she suggested that we might go for a drink or two, once the verdict’s in – her treat, to thank me for being such a good candidate.

I was flattered. I smiled. I politely declined.

That would be unprofessional.

Categories
Cock shots Sinful Sunday

Sinful Sunday: Button Fly

Bit of a placeholder this week, while I wait for some sort of inspiration to return. I recently had the following DM exchange with a good friend of mine:

Her: What are you wearing?

Me: Navy blue jumper. Red-and-white checked shirt. Blue jeans (501s). Tight navy boxers.

Her: Can you take a pic of your cock sticking through the button fly for me?

Me: Soft, semi-erect, or fully hard?

Her: Soft, then I can imagine how I could get it hard.

Deal.

I like zips. Zips are hot. They’re just mainly hot on the back of a dress, or the side of a tight black pencil skirt. On jeans, I’ve always preferred a button fly. It can be a little cruel on clumsy fingers, but then so can a bra clasp – overall, it feels like a fair exchange. And buttons are so satisfying. They give way with a pop, and as each one jumps free a little more skin is exposed. It’s the same with shirts, of course – the slow tease just works – but a button fly is more versatile, because it can also be ripped open (in a very manly way!) without the material being destroyed.

I took this photo because someone asked me to take it. I like this photo because…well, because someone asked me to take it! But also because it makes me think of grazed knees (yours), a heavy belt (mine), a tight skirt and bare legs (yours), a shirt almost translucent with sweat (mine), big dark eyes (yours), fingers squeezing metal buttons through denim holes (mine), a soft and eager tongue (yours), and tensed, trembling thighs, which buckle the moment you take my cock in your mouth.

I’m wearing those same button-fly jeans as I type this. Though not for long…

button fly

Sinful Sunday

Categories
Erotica

Their First Time

This was written for Alison Tyler’s kink submission and rejected, in part, because the characters came across as too young. After re-reading it, I kind of get where that comment came from, though in my head they’re probably in their early-to-mid twenties. Anyway, I thought I’d post it here: let me know what you think!

Everyone remembers their first time. Alex and Kelly were lucky enough to experience theirs together, one cold afternoon in early February, when the snow on the ground outside lay as pure and white as the soft blanket and fresh sheets on Kelly’s bed.

Underneath that blanket they kissed, these two young lovers, and their trembling fingers took it in turns to remove the clothes they’d still been wearing as they’d tumbled into bed. A shirt was unbuttoned here, a bra unhooked there, and in no time at all Kelly’s hand was burrowing down into Alex’s underwear.

“God, I’ve wanted to touch you for so long. I can’t believe we waited till now to do this.”

“I want you so much, Kelly. Yeah, curl your fingers around it like that, baby.”

“You’re so hard! I never realised how big it would feel. Oh Alex, are you sure it’ll fit. Won’t it hurt?”

Alex looked down and saw Kelly’s hand wrapped around the thick shaft, barely able to make a fist. For a horrible moment, it felt like the laws of Physics were playing a horrible joke on both of them; that nothing so gloriously large could hope to fit inside the virginal tightness with which they both longed to sheathe it.

Kelly looked at the despair that flashed across Alex’s face, and immediately knew what to do.

“Get down between my legs and lick me, baby. Just for a minute. That’s it, just rip them off, I don’t care, and – oh fuck – yes, that’s the spot right there.”

Alex’s tongue was sure and steady, deft and skilful, as if it had found a natural home down there in the sweet spot that made Kelly purr with pleasure. It flicked and probed, till the tiny opening could accommodate a few exploratory thrusts, and then it pushed inside, causing them both to gasp in surprise and delight.

“Here, get my fingers nice and wet. I want to see whether I can get them inside you. You’re so tight, but I think you can take one, at least.”

Kelly sucked hard on Alex’s middle finger. A second digit soon found its way in alongside the first; they emerged a few seconds later, coated in saliva, and Kelly mewled at the sudden emptiness which they left behind.

“Please Alex. Please let me suck your dick while you use your fingers. I really need you in my mouth”

In a blanket-tossing, sheet-twisting frenzy, they each moved round, till his cheek rested against the inside of her thigh, and her breath warmed his navel. Alex’s cock stood high and proud, and Kelly licked it with a flat tongue; slowly at first, to savour its length and to allow this moment to sink in for both of them.

Meanwhile, Alex’s fingers adopted a similar rhythm. Languid and unhurried in their initial movements, they just parted the soft flesh between Kelly’s legs and held it like that, so the cool air could tickle the ripe, exposed core. When the first finger did finally enter, it curled upwards and stopped, just an inch or two inside. It slid silkily back out, then in again, pausing to allow Kelly’s muscles to clench around it : some things just feel too good not to take your time over.

Without needing to ask, each knew when the moment to accelerate matters had arrived. Kelly, mouth suddenly awash with greed, plunged down onto Alex’s cock, taking not just the head but most of the thick shaft deep inside; Alex responded by jamming two fingers in together and using them to piston in and out, matching Kelly’s fast, frantic, oral tempo.

“You’re so open now! I swear I could get three fingers in, or even four! Do you think you’re ready for me now, baby? I really want to fuck you and I don’t think I can wait any longer.”

“Yes, I’m ready. Your dick feels so good in my mouth, but I need you to fuck me. I’ve never needed anything as much as I need this.”

Alex pulled Kelly in close and they rolled together on the big bed. When they stopped, Kelly’s soft curls lay spread out on the pillow. Alex looked down at them and tenderly wove a loose tendril around the fingers which, seconds earlier, had been used for much less delicate purposes.

With her other hand, Alex reached for the pot on the bedside table and swiftly lubed up her cock. The strap-on felt almost obscenely large between her slim thighs, and Kelly’s ass was still really tight, but she knew that once she’d squeezed the first couple of inches inside him, he’d beg to feel the rest as well. He looked so adorably vulnerable, her beautiful man just aching to be fucked.

Kelly spread his legs. His swimmer’s body tapered down in a long V from shoulders to waist, and there was something graceful about the way he moved his knees back, either side of his chest, till he looked like one of his diver buddies, suspended in the tuck position. He watched Alex tease her dick down between his balls, and gasped as he felt the cool silicon, slick with lube, press experimentally against his hole. He tensed – they both tensed – and then, with an ease that brought a happy smile to Alex’s face, she thrust inside.

Alex and Kelly’s first time, like that of so many others, did not take long to reach a wide-eyed, toe-curling climax. Alex pressed down on the backs of Kelly’s legs till the kneecaps rested flush against the dips either side of his collarbone. She whispered words she’d never dreamt would come out of her mouth, and he responded, his hand desperate and shaking as it sought out his own erection. He was already leaking pre-come, each drop clinging briefly to the very tip of his cock, then falling into the valley between his chest muscles.

With the base of the dildo grinding into her clit, it didn’t take Alex long to find the gathering swell of her own orgasm. As she succumbed, she collapsed down onto Kelly, her strap-on still deep inside his ass. He held her to him, and they both felt his cock pulse once, then send a stream of come between their bodies.

Alex fell back onto the bed next to her lover. The snow continued to fall outside the window, and she knew that they’d be going nowhere that evening. That was fine; in fact, it was perfect. Alex propped herself up on one elbow, turned to Kelly, and with a mischievous smile said the words that everyone wants to hear after their first time:

“We are doing that again.”

Categories
Erotica

Brother Simeon

The hooded figures filed into the back of the church, four from one side and four from the other. When all eight had entered, the back man in each line turned to pull shut the heavy oak door behind him. The soft whine of the early evening wind was instantly replaced by a stifling silence, and the torches on the walls seemed to burn a little brighter in their sconces.

The men stopped halfway down the aisle and bowed their heads. When they raised them again, their faces were set into grim masks. Each wore a dark brown cowl, clasped loosely enough for the cold air inside the church to raise goosebumps on the naked skin half-hidden inside. The men were lean and well-muscled, and when they passed through the torchlight it was obvious that the days spent grafting in the fields had tanned their skin a deep, chestnut brown.

Brother Simeon, on the other hand, was not brown. His body was smooth and fair, though no less stocky or powerful than that of his fellow monks. Even after being stripped and lashed to the altar, his jaw line retained a defiant jut; bent over and splayed across the hard black marble, coarse rope criss-crossing his torso, he looked almost like a racehorse mid-jump, coiled and tense where he should have appeared supine and submissive.

Brother Simeon was to be punished that night. Punished for each sin he had committed in the six months since he’d first strolled through the Abbot’s door, 60% carefree insouciance, 30% stonewashed jeans, and 10% steel; the kind of steel that men missed at first, but in time came to lust after and fear in equal measure.

When they reached the altar, the members of the disciplinary committee fanned out and unclasped their cowls, allowing eight soft pools of wool to hug the cold stone floor. Brother Stephen was the first to step forward. He was the oldest of the monks, and at 40 his hair was flecked with grey, but he still moved with an easy, supple grace. It was the tattoos on his dick that confirmed his seniority: 12 deep blue rings, circling his thick shaft, one for each novitiate he’d trained.

Brother Stephen walked calmly around the altar. He stood directly in front of Brother Simeon, slid a callused finger under his chin, and lifted it almost tenderly, till the two men were able to look each other in the eye.

“Simeon, you know why you’re here. Our God asks little of us: only that we work the land, harvest the crops, and fuck the women who come to us in search of the pleasure their boyfriends can’t provide. You’re a hard worker, and every man here would give his left nut to be blessed with your good looks, but every night you turn away the girl we send you. For that, you must be punished. Do you accept this judgement?”

As Brother Simeon opened his mouth to vocalise his assent, Brother Stephen tilted his hips and gagged him with his cock. Acceptance was irrelevant – this was their God’s will.

Quickly, Brother Saul and Brother Solomon swept in from opposite sides and descended upon Simeon’s trussed hindquarters. Saul was the youngest of the monks, a rangy stripling of 22 years, with a mere three rings inked around his dick. He knelt between his bound compatriot’s legs and carefully parted his soft ass cheeks.

Saul’s tongue had already brought countless women to shaking, sobbing orgasm in the two years since he’d swapped his novice’s tunic for the monk’s habit he was now permitted to wear. With Brother Solomon watching, and methodically applying holy oil to his stout cock, he dragged it between Simeon’s balls and up, till he was able to lap gently at the exposed hole. Saul was a serious young man, thorough and tireless in his work; again and again, his strong tongue deposited a milky pearl of saliva onto Simeon’s skin, before pushing it skilfully inside him.

Although his body shuddered and convulsed under Saul’s tongue, Simeon stayed silent. Brother Stephen’s huge dick filled his mouth to the point where he was forced to breathe through his nose, and a small puddle of drool had already formed under his chin, but he bore his punishment with the stoicism demanded by his order.

Brother Solomon laid the pot of oil down on the altar and eased Saul to one side. He was a tall man, with hawkish features, jet-black hair, and a coarse, clipped beard. Not yet 30, he’d still accumulated nine rings around his dick, though it was a testament to his prodigious length that there remained room for many more along the heavily-veined shaft.

Solomon pressed one hand down into the small of Simeon’s back. His dick glistened in the torchlight, and with great ceremony he positioned it between the prisoner’s buttocks. Brother Stephen nodded once: it was time. The muscles in Solomon’s ass rippled as he thrust firmly forward, deep inside Simeon’s tight hole; a low moan vibrated around Brother Stephen’s cock and echoed out into the church, where it was met by a rumble of approval from the watching monks. Solomon quickly settled into a heavy, percussive rhythm, sawing his dick in and out with deliberate force. It was not his job to bring pleasure to his compatriot; only to purge him of the sin which had wrapped itself around his soul. Harder and harder he fucked the helpless Simeon, until the altar itself appeared to tremble under the power flowing through his dick.

Only as he neared orgasm did Solomon’s movements become jerky and staccato; his knees buckled slightly, and with one final thrust he flooded Simeon’s hole with thick cum. After his dick had finished pulsing, Solomon pulled out, mindful not to allow any of his seed to fall onto the sacred marble. He walked back to his position on the outside of the semi-circle and Brother Saul replaced him, to penetrate Simeon’s ass with his tongue once again. Solomon’s cum tasted sharp and bitter, but Saul was not deterred; he knew how important it was to swallow as much as he could, to prevent any leaking out and defiling the altar.

Brother Silas was next to step forward. His easy, laidback manner had made him a favourite among the ladies who passed through the monastery’s doors; his endless stamina and curved dick, with its fat, plum-coloured crown and seven tattoos, only served to enhance his reputation still further. He fucked Brother Simeon as he fucked his women, allowing him a few seconds to adjust to the initial shock his girth never failed to induce, before rolling his hips and gradually delivering inch after inch inside him.

After Silas had shot his load, and Saul had sucked as much of it from Simeon’s hole as his tongue could reach, it was the turn of Brother Shiloh, followed by Brothers Seth and Samuel. When the last monk, Brother Sheva, approached the altar, cum ran in long streaks down Simeon’s legs, and his back and shoulders shone with sweat. Still he held Brother Stephen’s cock in his mouth, with a discipline and focus that his colleagues could not help but admire.

Sheva’s would be the seventh and final dick to enter Simeon’s body that night. As he thrust it into the tunnel that five others had already mined, Brother Stephen also abandoned his watchful stillness and began to fuck Simeon’s mouth with equal fury. The air in the church, cool and fresh just an hour earlier, almost shimmered with heat; it smelled – tasted, really – of a dark, rich musk, of the nine men whose sweat and spit and cum had been spilled in the service of their God.

The moment had almost arrived. Brother Saul reached underneath Brother Simeon’s body, and deftly unknotted the thin rope around his cock.

“Now, Simeon”, intoned Brother Stephen, “now your punishment is complete and you must release the sin from your body.” As he finished speaking, his dick swelled and he laced his fingers through the soft blonde hair of his young protégé. He and Sheva came together, pouring their hot semen into Simeon’s mouth and ass. The eight monks stepped back and watched the tip of Simeon’s cock flare once, twice, and then coat the stone surface underneath it with cum.

Finally able to slump down onto the altar and rest, Brother Simeon allowed himself a small smile. The punishment had proved even more enjoyable than he’d dared to hope it might. One thing was for certain: his sinning days were far from over…

Categories
Sex

Don’t say my name

There are lots of words I enjoy hearing during sex.

Hard, dirty words: Fuck. Cock. Cunt.

Softer words, full of aching need: Please. Now. Yesssss.

Words that command and words that beg. Words whispered and words pitched somewhere between a shout and a scream. Words strung together with a precise, casually devastating elegance, and words forced out in a jumbled, incoherent mess.

Words are good. All of them. Almost all of them. Because there’s one word I really don’t want to hear during sex: my name.

Before sex, yes, fine. When I’m kneeling naked on the floor and you’re in front of me, tossing out instructions: absolutely.

But not when everything is hot and smudged and blurry. Not when I’m pounding into you and there’s a buzzing in our heads, and both of us are struggling to remember our own names, let alone anyone else’s.

Not even if we’re draped naked around each other, a soft-focus tangle of limbs and sheets, barely moving because it’s enough to stay still and feel. When you say it then, it drags me out of the moment; I feel it float between us and cut at the natural intimacy that our bodies have created.

It’s not a horrible name, nor an ugly one. I like to hear it in the street, when a friend catches sight of me and shouts a hello, or to read it written down in a card from someone I care about. I’m identified by it – called by it – addressed by it, and that’s just fine.

In bed, though, I don’t need it for those things. Identify me by smelling my skin, or running your fingers through my hair. Call me by moving my hand down between your legs – or by placing yours between mine. Address me with your lips and your fingers, then press our bodies close together – believe me, I’ll pay attention.

Tack my name onto any of those and it suddenly feels out of place – a little porny, and not in a hot way. Like you’ve added it consciously – too consciously – to show that it’s me you want.

There are other ways to do that. Better ways. Hotter ways.

“Baby, say my name.”

Baby…please just don’t.

Categories
Cock shots Sinful Sunday

Sinful Sunday: Desk Job

I was looking for photographic inspiration the other day, and the lovely Oleander Plume was kind enough to email me three suggestions for shots I could take. This was the third of them:

‘3. You’re in an office, sitting on top of your desk, leaning back on both hands, arms straight. Your jacket, shirt and pants are all open, and your erect cock is pointing up. You are looking to the side with a small smile on your face.’

As it happens, this was my last week in the job I came out to do in Poland, so on Wednesday night I sneaked into work after hours. Our floor is open-plan, and the only people with offices of their own are the company President, and the CFO. Apparently the President doesn’t lock his door when he leaves at night, which made it very easy to slip inside and take this week’s Sinful Sunday photo.

I left my jacket at home, and the small smile was sacrificed on the altar of anonymity, but otherwise I think this just about satisfies the brief…

desk2

Sinful Sunday

Categories
Sex

On women who like to watch

Last week I had a drink in a London pub I’d last visited a couple of years ago, with a woman I was seeing at the time. Her name was Nathalie, and although the relationship was both short and fairly casual, sitting in that pub immediately brought her face to mind.

We ended up there after dinner one night, on what must have been about our fourth date. We’d certainly already slept together a couple of times, because halfway through a very good bottle of red wine, it was the sex that we started to discuss. Both times we’d fucked, Nathalie had asked me to stop just as I was about to come, then had got me to peel off the condom, lie on my back, and jerk off all over myself (“Pretend I’m not even here”) while she knelt next to me and watched. Just watched, mind: she hadn’t wanted to touch either herself or me, and each time I came she gave a contented little sigh and snuggled down next to me with her head on my shoulder.

As far as I was concerned that was all just fine – I have no problem with being watched – but I’m nosy by nature, especially when it comes to sex, so I felt compelled to ask her about it. She told me that it was something she asked all her boyfriends to do for her: not as a power trip, nor because she disliked the sensation of someone coming inside her – it was purely a visual thing. When she was younger and still a virgin, she’d watched a porn clip in which the camera had hovered over a guy as he lay supine, then pulled back to film him masturbating from the same position she’d occupied each time we’d re-enacted that scenario. I tried to get her to describe what made it so hot, but she shook her head and told me that although it was the source of her fetish, it was no longer the clip itself that turned her on; instead it served as a visual prompt for the various memories she had of watching lovers wank for her like that.

Watching a guy touch himself made her wetter than anything, she said. Her voice got softer and lower as she described the sense of anticipation she felt when she sat back on her heels, post-orgasm, next to her lover’s thigh. She watched because she wanted to see how he gripped his cock, and whether he stroked it slowly or with short, urgent jerks; but most of all, she wanted to listen to his grunts, and watch his hips pump upwards, pushing his cock through his curled fist. She liked the way most dicks seemed to twitch just before orgasm, and she said that when she knew for certain that a guy was about to come, she could never decide whether to watch the spunk shooting out over his stomach and chest, or whether just to stare at his face as he lost himself in the moment.

At the time, Nathalie’s description of her voyeuristic fetish turned me on so much that 20 minutes later we were back at her place, fucking on her kitchen table. When I thought about it again the other day, I realised that although Nathalie’s devotion to that one specific image may have represented an extreme, her general interest in watching was something she shared with most of my other partners.

The “men like pictures, women prefer words” nonsense has been beaten down with far bigger sticks than mine, but what my sexual experiences over the last few years have shown me is just how varied, and clearly defined, our visual preferences can be. Even with something as simple as watching me masturbate, every woman who’s asked to do that has wanted something different.

One liked me to straddle her chest, so she could look up and see everything above her, all the way up to the look on my face as I touched myself. Another preferred me to kneel on the floor and do it, while she sat on the bed and stroked my hair: she would pull me forward just as I was getting close, so the cum would always end up all over my thighs and the floor in front of me.

I have one ex who sometimes asked me to wear her knickers while I wanked. She used to get me to put them on about half an hour beforehand, then tease me till I was so hard that the material stretched painfully around my cock. Only then would she let me touch it, standing in front of her with the knickers pulled down just far enough for me to wrap my hand around the shaft.

More recently, I was in bed with a woman who asked me to show her how I masturbate when I’m on my own. I lay on my side and she spooned me, her breasts squished against my back and her chin resting on my shoulder, so she could watch it from my perspective.

Different angles, different positions. Different power dynamics too, because sometimes I’m the one in charge, taking my pleasure and using the sight of her body to get myself off, while she just lies there and watches. Different ways of getting started, and different ways of finishing – on me, on her, or, with one lover, in her mouth…she used to swoop in just as I was about to come, and that would be the only time our bodies touched during the whole process.

Porn has its issues, but one positive thing it’s done for the way we fuck is to expand the library of hot visual images that we carry round in our heads – images that we can feed into what we do with our partners. A lot has rightly been written about the negative impact of porn on sexual expectations among young men, but with the women I’ve dated or talked to about it (especially those without much sexual experience of their own to fall back on), porn has helped to crystallize and enhance the specific visual triggers for their arousal. That, in turn, has given them the confidence to ask for what they want, and the clarity to describe it in detail.

I’m not sure there’s a wider point to this post. I started off with the intention of framing it in the context of routines, and how even when we’re watching someone else do something, we all have particular details or scenarios that turn us on. It irritates me that ‘routine’ is a word often used in a negative way, because as great – as bloody amazing – as variety can be, the reality is that most of us find comfort and an easy satisfaction in our sexual bread-and-butter, whatever that happens to involve.

In the end though, it wasn’t routine I thought about as I typed. Instead I thought about each of the women who’ve asked me to wank for them, and about how hot it is to have a specific scenario described or requested. It’s hot because in asking for something in that much detail, the other person is not only showing that they’re confident and positive in their own sexuality (a real turn-on in itself), they’re also opening up a part of their brain – a really fucking sexy part of their brain – and letting me peek inside. I get to see exactly what she fantasizes about, and I get to know that when I masturbate with her eyes on me, I’m tapping directly into one of those fantasies – tapping into it, and creating more images for her to file away and use at some point in the future. It basically makes me think about her wanking, and desperate, frenzied girlwanking is a whole other level of hotness.

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My suit

Shortly after Eroticon, the otherwise brilliant and lovely @DomSigns tweeted something about men in suits:

“Men that wear suits are so very seldom at the top of the food chain… it is the people that dress like they have only £10 in their pockets that are the people with the real power… to me a suit is a sign of submission to the corporate world”

There’s a certain nobility to the sentiment behind the first part of that, but the last bit, addressed in a separate reply to @sexblogofsorts, had me itching to jump in and join the argument. I bit my tongue at the time, but that tweet floated back into my head this morning, as I was settling down in my seat for the flight back to London. I disagree with his point-of-view, but that’s neither interesting nor uncommon: I disagree with lots of people over lots of things, and life would be very dull if that wasn’t the case. It was when I started trying to figure out why I disagree with it, and what that says about me, that I decided to write something.

When I was a teenager, I didn’t care about clothes at all. Even when I reached 16, and no longer had to wear a school uniform, I was always happiest in an old t-shirt and jeans or cords, or even tracksuit trousers. Between April and September, the latter were switched most days for shorts, regardless of how ridiculous my skinny white legs looked in the corridor or around town: I prioritised comfort over appearance, basically, at all times.

The thing is, that’s still true now – it’s just that as I’ve changed, my notion of comfort has changed too, and become more complex. If something looks great but feels restrictive, or unpleasant against my skin, I won’t wear it. Equally, I have plenty of clothes that other people find hideous, but which feel good on my body, or make me think of a particular place or person. I can go for months at a time without buying new clothes, because I’m generally happy with what I’ve got. I value comfort and familiarity over fashion. Or maybe I’m just lazy: for years now, I’ve worn Burberry Touch aftershave, put Pantene shampoo on my hair, cleaned my teeth with Sensodyne Pronamel, and sprayed unscented Right Guard under my arms – I have no emotional attachment to the brands, but there’s a limit to the number of things I can think about in any one day, and I’d rather not have to squeeze ‘choosing toiletries’ into the mix, so once I find something I like, I stick with it. Makes shopping much easier.

It does have to be something that I like though. In a way that was never the case in my teens, comfort now also means being happy with the way I look, feel and smell. That’s a personal thing: I was quite unhappy and insecure for a while in my mid-20s, partly because I’d started to worry far too much about how other people saw me; it’s only more recently that I’ve learned to focus on how I see myself, and on what I think looks good.

Clothing is a part of that. I have a favourite shirt. It’s got very thin blue and white vertical stripes, and my Dad bought it in the Far East six or seven years ago – it was too small for him, so he gave it to me. I couldn’t tell you who made it, nor do I have any idea what it cost, but I know that I can wear it with jeans, chinos or a suit, and every time I put it on I feel happy. The same is true of my Tintin socks, and my black-and-white Calvin Klein boxers, and my t-shirt with a picture of the Vitruvian Man on the front, and…well, and so on. It’s not that I would feel anxious if I lost them, but having them clean and ready in my drawer is comforting, in a way that an endless stream of new clothes wouldn’t be.

When I feel relaxed and comfortable, I also feel sexy. It’s why I no longer go on dates wearing something that I think the other person will like – I dress in a way that makes me feel good about my body. It kind of goes back to something I wrote about lingerie a couple of months ago – as far as I’m concerned the aesthetic value of clothing lies in how it makes us feel about ourselves, not in what other people think of it. When I look in the mirror and like what I see, I feel better about life in general.

I don’t wear a suit to fit in, or to mask my insecurities. I don’t wear it as a way of swinging my dick around, but I also don’t feel like a corporate stooge when I take it off the hanger. I wear a suit because it looks and feels really good. It’s the one thing in my wardrobe that was made specifically to fit my body. The jacket neither hangs loose around my shoulders nor pulls tight across them. I don’t have to tug at the sleeves to stop them riding up my arms, nor do I have to keep fishing my shirt cuffs out from under them. The trousers feel soft, both under my fingers when I rest a hand on my thigh, and against my skin as I walk around. If I wear them without underwear, I end up in a constant state of arousal, just from the way the silky smooth lining hugs and caresses my dick.

I’ll always be a t-shirt and jeans man at heart, and I’ll never stop exposing the world to my pasty white calves whenever the sun is shining. I wouldn’t want to put my suit on every day, because then it wouldn’t feel special. I’m sure I’d still enjoy the way it fits me, but I wouldn’t get that little jolt of energy – the tingle that runs straight to my cock when I pull the jacket across my chest.

For the first time in my adult life, I’m truly comfortable in my own skin, and part of that comes from being happy with the clothes I use to cover it. My suit is only one piece of that puzzle, but it’s an important one, and when I get off the plane today and walk through the terminal, I’ll have an extra spring in my step as a result of wearing it.